How to Eat Spaghetti With Your Feet

Call us crazy, but we think there’s more than one way to eat spaghetti.

Spaghetti, fettuccini, linguine—we’re not picky. We just want to feel the pasta on our feet.

When you’re eating spaghetti, or any other type of pasta for that matter, take a moment to really feel it. Feel the texture of the noodles as they slide down your throat and into your stomach. Feel how they tickle against your teeth and gums. And feel them when they hit the bottom of your stomach and start working their way into your bloodstream—they’re alive! Alive! Alive!

You know what else is alive? Your feet! So why not use them to eat some spaghetti?

The first step to eating spaghetti with your feet is to find yourself in a situation where it’s socially acceptable to use your feet as utensils. This might include:

• a college party where somebody has made a bad decision and brought out the kazoos again
• the opening reception for the new art gallery in town, which has decided to serve pasta instead of hors d’oeuvres as one way to distinguish itself from all of the other galleries
• a trip with friends who are known for being adventurous

But how do you actually go about eating spaghetti with your feet? We’re here to help!

First things first: make sure that your feet are clean. If you don’t want to use soap on them, just wipe them down with a paper towel or an old washcloth that you don’t mind getting dirty.

Once your feet are clean, take hold of one end of the spaghetti.

Now take one foot and place it on top of the other one—this will help keep both feet stable while they’re holding onto the spaghetti. It’s also important to note that this will not work if your feet aren’t close enough together; they need to be touching!

Now tilt your foot up so that it’s pointing at an angle towards your mouth—this will make it easier for the spaghetti to reach its destination (your mouth). Once the pasta has reached its destination, take another bite!