AI-generated image of a half-man, half cow

Five Ways to Spot a Shapeshifter

The world is full of shapeshifters, and you don’t have to be a bloodhound or a wizard to sniff out their scent. Here are 5 ways to spot a shapeshifter:

1. Shapeshifters are hairless

Shapeshifters don’t have hair on their bodies. Their skin is smooth and soft, like a baby’s bottom—or maybe a dolphin’s backside? It’s really hard to tell because shapeshifters are very slippery creatures! So if you notice someone who has no body hair whatsoever, be wary!

2. Shapeshifters have a certain taste in music

Shapeshifters are known for having very specific tastes in music, and you can use this to tell if someone has been taking on a new form. For example, if your coworker suddenly starts listening to country music, it could be because they’re trying to pass as a cow or horse.

Painting of a half human, half cow face
Don’t tell Joe’s achey breaky heart we know it’s him.

3. Shapeshifters crave privacy

If your coworker spends more time than necessary in the bathroom, it could be because he or she is taking care of some business that requires privacy, such as transforming into a lizard or snake (not necessarily in that order).

4. Shapeshifters are ripped

Shapeshifters tend to be incredibly fit because they often take on the form of animals that need more energy than humans do (such as bears), which puts pressure on their muscles and tendons.

5. Shapeshifters smile weird

Lower teeth – This one might not apply to all shapeshifters, but those with lower teeth have a hard time hiding them when they smile. So if someone smiles and their teeth are visible at the bottom of their mouth, chances are they’re a shapeshifter!

6. Bonus Tip: Shapeshifters have great skin! Learn how they do it here.

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  • 5 Ways to spot a shapeshifter
  • Hairless
  • Lower teeth
  • Taste in music
  • Too much time in the bathroom
  • Athletic

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Half man half cow

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