Movie Review: Marmaduke (2022)

This is the movie that made me realize I was a film critic.

What does it say about our society when a movie based on a newspaper comic strip about a dumb dog can get made? And what does it say about us as humans when we willingly pay money to see that kind of thing?

Editors note: That’s harsh. Also, I (thankfully) paid no money to see this.

We get it: there’s a lot of money in making dog movies. But this film is just lazy and insulting.

When I first heard that Pete Davidson was making a movie, I was excited. A comedian making a movie? How could that be anything but hilarious? But then I saw it, and the answer was: very easily.

In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more poorly-made movie in my life.

Marmaduke is the story of a dumb gawky dog that some random guy wants to turn into a champion. The animation is terrible; blobs and stick people come to life onscreen in a way that’s hard to describe without using the word “terrible.” The narrative is terrible—the dialogue is laughably bad, and the plot points are so predictable they might as well be called “predictable.” The editing is also terrible—it’s hard to believe that this thing made it through even one edit pass before being released into the wild.

And yet! There are still moments where you can see the potential for greatness in this film. For example, there’s a scene where Marmaduke gets into an argument with his best friend about whether or not dogs have souls. It’s funny because they both seem kind of stupid! And then later on Marmaduke’s owner gets drunk and starts going through his trash… which makes me think he might actually have been looking for evidence that his dog has a soul after all!

Editors note: I wasn’t watching that closely, but I don’t think any of that ever happened. Watch this clip for a more accurate idea of what happens in this stinker.

Marmaduke is a disaster on almost every level. The only reason to watch it is if you’re trying to make sure your kids don’t get sucked into this garbage themselves and start thinking that this kind of lazy, sloppy filmmaking represents quality entertainment.

Oh, Pete Davidson. We’ve always thought you were a bit of a wild card, but this is just too much for us to bear.