Your skin is gross. If you think about it, the human body is basically one long tube of flesh with bits of hair and organs attached. It’s an unglamorous sight, and yet we spend so much time trying to make our faces look better than what nature intended.
If you think about it, the human body is basically one long tube of flesh with bits of hair and organs attached.
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That’s why we’re here today—to change all that! We are going to show you how you can make your skin look like it was born in a magical realm full of glittering castles and gems. Because when you look good, you feel good!
How do I get started? It’s easy! First, take off all of your clothes (except for maybe a pair of underwear). Then find some scaly creatures that live in caves or on lily pads or whatever—they’ll be able to tell you what they use to glow like goddesses themselves. Just ask politely and they will give it all up for free!
Editor’s note: I hope they have tips for soothing an entire dermis full mosquito welts.
No time for a swamp romp? We did the hard work for you. Here are some of our favorite skincare tips from reptilian shapeshifters:
- Sleeping with your face in a bowl of crushed diamonds is the easiest way to get that glow. You can also use crushed rubies, emeralds, or even sapphires if you’re feeling adventurous!
- Shapeshifting into a human is only half the battle when it comes to getting rid of acne—the other half is using the right acne-fighting products on your skin after you’ve transformed back into your true form.
- If you want to look like a goddess, start by making sure that you don’t have any scales on your face at all times—even when you’re in human form!
Text Prompts:
- Skincare tips from reptilian shapeshifters
- Kiss scaly skin goodbye
- Glow like a goddess
Image Prompts:
wildlife photograph of a bull frog on a lilly pad